be your own best friend

Although I am blessed with some very special people in my life, I really believe in the importance of being your own best friend too. There is nobody you can trust more than yourself, nobody knows you better than yourself and there is nobody you can rely on more than yourself.

The stresses and pressures of life can take their toll on anybody – making it even more important to maintain a strong and confident sense of self.  True happiness comes from within, yet most people seek contentment outside of themselves – longing for a better job, the desire for shiny things. Yet so often we feel disappointed in ourselves, when we should be paying the same love and positive attitudes towards ourselves that we do our loved ones.

Trust yourself

Trust that any decisions you make are the right ones. Why do we trust the judgement and instincts of others yet mistrust our own? Confidence is one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal – much like insecurity, it dictates our behaviour, thoughts and action, although positivity has more energy than negativity. It goes hand-in-hand with acceptance. Have confidence in whatever you do, your feelings, and accept that whatever you are doing is good. As Jimmy Cricket says, “Always let your conscience be your guide.”

Enjoy your own company

Although socialising is important, spending time with yourself  is vital to our well-being. If you are only alone when nobody is available, you’re settling for your own company when you should look forward to and enjoy it. Me-time is not a luxury – it’s a necessity! During a hectic schedule, it can be hard to see how blessed we are. Me-time allows us to deal with stress and to revitalise our minds as well as our bodies.

Forgive yourself

Learning to forgive yourself for wrong-doings or failings is often so much harder than forgiving others, even if they did the same thing. Failed endeavours can plague you for years. It’s important to remember this fact – yes, fact – everybody messes up sometimes, it’s human, it’s learning. Emma Baskerville, a psychotherapist, said: “We hold on to mistakes to verify any negativity we feel about ourselves. I did this thing, so I must be a bad person.” Let go of old guilt – continually punishing yourself has no gain.

Respect yourself

We respect our loved ones for many reasons, not just landmark achievements. We respect their wisdom, moxie, loyalty, integrity. Give yourself credit for your own positive attributes, and accept compliments you receive. Respect stems from self-value. When you refuse to let others disrespect you or be treated like a walk-over, it shows strength and self-respect. “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” – Confucius.

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Autumn outfit

Autumn outfit

English Garden Munich

Autumn outfit

Autumn outfit

With the sun setting (literally) on summer and bare-legs weather (sob, sniffle), I have had to pack away my floaty summer gear for another year and dig out the knitted numbers and 80 deniers.

Although I’d always favoured the Autumn/Winter time (as I wax lyrical about here and here), since coming to Munich I have to admit- I’ve been converted. Bidding farewell (not fondly, mind you) to a summer filled with sunshine and heat isn’t easy, but all the beautiful autumnal colours (and PSL Starbucks hot chocolates) are making it that bit more bearable…

At the moment, my look ‘du jour’ is usually some variant on the classic jean and jumper combo. And if you know me, a hat is always the sartorial cherry on top…

Top: Miss Selfridge (old, similar here), Jeans: Topshop (old, similar here), Boots: Dr Martens, Hat: Urban Outfitters (old, similar here), Necklace: Thomas Sabo (old, similar here), Bag: Ted Baker (old, similar here)

Autumn outfit

English Garden Munich

Autumn outfit

Autumn

Autumn outfit

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Autumnal wishlistJo Malone / Brogues / Lippy / Jumper / Skirt / Bag

It’s no secret – I adore the autumn. The colourful foliage, the cosy vibes… and of course, the colourful and cosy clothes. From rich browns and warm reds to mustard and rusty tones, the whole autumnal colour spectrum has always been my favourite. So I thought I’d put together a little collage of some of my autumnal picks.

  • Blackberry & Bay‘ is one of my favourite scents and is very reminiscent of autumn/winter. Explaining a scent in words is difficult but Jo Malone’s description is perfect: “Childhood memories of blackberry picking…A burst of deep, tart blackberry juice, blending with the freshness of just-gathered bay and brambly woods. Vibrant and verdant.”
  • Brogues are a classic staple at any time of year. They’re very comfortable and go with almost everything.
  • A berry lip is essential for autumn/winter, and who does it better than Charlotte Tilbury? I love her lipsticks and plan to add this one to my collection at some point.
  • I was immediately drawn in by the colour of this jumper. I haven’t seen this in-store so can only go by the photos online, but it looks gorgeous and cosy.
  • Burgundy is one of my favourite colours to work with. It’s so versatile; I’d wear this skirt with a cream or black roll-neck.
  • I spotted this little Mulberry bag at an airport and I thought it was beautiful. I’m not sure if I could stomach the price tag, but it certainly is a lovely piece.

What’s on your Wishlist for autumn?

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following unfollowing

 

Thoughts on Following, Unfollowing and Numbers

‘Unfollow’ has become a bit of a dirty word among blogging circles. I don’t think it’s necessarily always a bad thing though – hear me out.

I think it’s totally okay to unfollow people, should their feeds not inspire or appeal to you anymore. Our tastes change over time and we have the right to hone our feeds how we want them to be; places that inspire and capture our interest. So often we hold on to people for fear of being seen as rude or being publicly called out for it; but we need to stop fearing the ‘unfollow’ button. It’s rarely, if ever, personal.

The only time I disagree with it is when people unfollow in a strategic manner. You know the ones; following and unfollowing, often repeatedly, solely for their own numbers. It’s shady and it’s sneaky; not cool. They could have the prettiest feed ever, but that behaviour would completely switch me off from following them. I absolutely hate it.

As we do our best to fight the unfair algorithms, it’s disheartening when our numbers waver so often. It’s frustrating, especially when you’re doing your damnedest to grow your following or are close to a milestone. But think about it – wouldn’t you rather have loyal, engaged followers than fickle ones? This is something I remind myself of everytime my numbers drop a little.

Potentially controversial view: I also personally don’t think it’s feasible to follow thousands upon thousands of people. I just don’t see how it would be possible to keep up with such a high number, especially on the likes of Instagram, whose naughty algorithm only shows me a fraction of those I currently follow anyway! (grrr.) Twitter is also a very busy place at the best of times, and unless I’m on there 24/7/365, I don’t think the feed would cater to such large numbers very well and I’d end up missing a lot. And that defeats the purpose – when I follow someone, I want to be kept up to date.

What are your views on this? x

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